Have you ever asked the question: What is co-parenting vs parallel parenting? If so, then you’re in the right place. I’ve put together an article that will answer this question – and other frequently asked questions too!
Parenting together can be tough, but co-parenting or parallel parenting can be even tougher. It’s important to know the difference when you’re dealing with the trials and tribulations of parenting. I’ll also talk about the third type – when co-parenting is not amicable.
- What is co-parenting vs parallel parenting?
- What is parallel parenting with a narcissist?
- How do you move to parallel parenting?
- How do courts view parallel parenting?
- What are the 3 types of co-parenting?
- Should co parents spend time together?
- Should co parents talk everyday?
- Are co-parents friends?
- How should co-parents decide on how to raise kids?
- How can co-parents stop the fighting?
- How can co-parents communicate effectively?
- How can co-parents decide who gets the kids?
- How should co-parents handle bedtime?
- How should co-parents handle discipline?
- How should co-parents handle holidays?
- How should co-parents handle the child’s schedule?
- What custody arrangement is best for a child?
What is co-parenting vs parallel parenting?
The difference between co-parenting and parallel parenting is that the former means that both parents are attempting to raise the children together while sharing the same rules and values in both households. For example, the same bedtime, the same meals, the same rules, and so forth. This can help the children manage their schedules and keep them somewhat normal.
Parallel parenting is when the parents are also raising children in separate homes, but the only communication is usually written and extremely formal. Unlike co-parenting, parallel parenting doesn’t have a set of rules and values in place because there is no attempt at working together. In this case, the parents are simply raising their children in their own homes during court appointed times.
What is parallel parenting with a narcissist?
While it’s not an official term, parallel parenting with a narcissist can mean many things. For most, it means trying to parent with a person who is extremely selfish and only concerned with their own lifestyle. They don’t care much about the other person’s feelings and they don’t care much about the children, who are only considered a burden to their lives.
Parallel parenting with a narcissist often means that the other individual is simply doing things their way and using the children as a tool for getting revenge. They really don’t care about their outlook in the eyes of the law and they’ll do whatever it takes to get what they want – including shopping for a new divorce attorney.
It’s important not to get caught up in the narcissist’s head games or their lies. Remember that they are playing you and the kids and you mustn’t fall into their trap. If they want to play the good guy, go ahead and let them. After all, it’s easier to judge someone by their actions rather than their words.
How do you move to parallel parenting?
You’ll want to talk to your family attorney and figure out if this is best for you and your family. You don’t want to spend a lot of money and resources on something that’s going to be short term and not help you in the long run. A family attorney can help you figure out if your current situation fits the bill for parallel parenting or not.
How do courts view parallel parenting?
When there’s conflict – i.e. a parallel parenting situation – the judge might try to order the parties to attend mediation. In the meantime, they might also try to figure out if one of the parents or both can get some form of counseling or therapy. In most cases, this is to see if they can learn to communicate better and maybe even work out a long term schedule that benefits everyone.
Parallel parenting can be a difficult thing to handle, but you’ll have to push through in order to get through it. It’s important that your children see you as a strong and caring person – even if you’re struggling at times.
An excellent resource for information on parallel parenting is the National Parents Organization. They are a network of attorneys who work hard to help families come up with the best possible plan for parallel parenting and custody.
What are the 3 types of co-parenting?
As mentioned, there’s conflicted and non-conflicted co-parenting. There’s also parallel parenting when parents are hostile and want no communication with one another. Co-parenting can be difficult, but it can make it easier when you know the exact terminology.
Conflicted co-parenting is when you and your ex are NOT trying to be civil in front of the children. You have a set of rules and you’re working in the same house. You might not be able to stand each other, but you are co-parenting.
Non-conflicted co-parenting is when you and your ex can stand one another and maintain a good working relationship. You might not be best friends, but you tolerate one another in front of the kids and that’s all that matters.
Parallel parenting, on the other hand, is when you and your ex are attempting to raise the children together and you’re NOT in the same house. You’re possibly going to be in two different homes and you’ll have set times that you’ll get to spend together. This can be advantageous in the long run because that might help with future situations.
Hostile parallel parenting is when you and your ex are trying to raise the children together, but neither of you want ANYTHING to do with each other. You’ll be raising the children in two different homes and you won’t be in communication unless it’s written or some form of business. This is often hard on the children, but it’s often seen as the best option in most cases.
Should co parents spend time together?
It’s often a good idea if parents spend some time together to work out some of the small issues. They’ll need to be in the same room at times, but they don’t have to spend a great deal of time together. You might only want to see your ex at the children’s ball games. Keep it short and sweet and try to come to some kind of understanding.
Should co parents talk everyday?
Daily communication is nice but not absolutely necessary. The thing to remember is that the child’s welfare is most important. If talking to your ex is getting in the way of their well being, then stop for the time being. I know that there are many different situations, but you need to keep the kids’ welfare as the main priority.
Are co-parents friends?
It’s often a good idea if you can be friends with your ex. This can help make things easier for the children, but that doesn’t mean that you’ll never get angry with them again. You will, but it’s important that you try to discuss it calmly instead of explosive arguments.
How should co-parents decide on how to raise kids?
Very little co-parenting is actually successful! In order to get past the competitiveness, parents need to stay focused on how best to raise the child (regardless of who has the final decision). It’s important that you try to communicate with one another and reach an agreement when it comes to raising the children.
How can co-parents stop the fighting?
You won’t always be able to stop the fighting, but you can try. If you can’t, then it’s likely that the most important thing you can do is to put your children first. Remember that this isn’t about you, it’s about them. You only want what’s best for them and every one of them has their own opinion on what that is.
How can co-parents communicate effectively?
Communication is key when it comes to co-parenting and it’s often difficult to communicate effectively with your ex. You’ll want to keep the conversation short and to the point, because your children might be listening in on your conversation. You don’t want to get into a lengthy conversation because that might develop into another argument.
How can co-parents decide who gets the kids?
You’ll want to come to some kind of agreement on how best to handle these situations. If you can’t agree, then it’s best that you come up with a decision before you get into an actual fight. You don’t want to have to retake your children and then have to work out the schedule all over again.
How should co-parents handle bedtime?
Bedtime is when you’ll need to be able to show some kind of consistency. If you’re doing a different routine at every house, then it’s likely that the child will become confused. They’ll have a hard time adjusting to their own school and home life, so it’s important that you cover all of the bases.
How should co-parents handle discipline?
Discipline can be one of the hardest things to handle and you’ll need to come to an agreement on how you will handle discipline. If you’re disciplining differently, then these kids will have a hard time adjusting to the new rules. It’s best to utilize a consistent approach in order for the children to adjust more easily.
How should co-parents handle holidays?
Most parents think that holidays are trouble, but they can actually be quite easy. You’re likely to have a set time that you’ll spend with each other and you’ll have time to see other family members. You can plan the kids’ schedule in advance so they don’t have issues with missing school.
How should co-parents handle the child’s schedule?
This is very important if you’re trying to create a schedule so that your children are able to spend time at both of your homes. It’s often a good idea to keep similar schedules so that the children aren’t confused. If you’re in a good situation, then consider picking a day where you can meet at a park or some other fun place.
What custody arrangement is best for a child?
The one that makes the child happiest. In all seriousness, you’ll want to ensure that they are spending time with both parents. You’ll want to ensure that they’re treated with respect and that they’re learning how to be a good person. You’ll also want to make sure they’re learning important life skills.
At the end of the day, it’s important that you take a lot of your child’s opinions into account. They are the ones that will have to live with it, so it’s important that they have a say in things. Try to remember that they’ll have to make a lot of choices in life – all of them difficult in some way.